growinghumans


This post has nothing to do with raising children.
May 25, 2014, 9:04 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have been trying to write a new post for about two weeks. I have tried to write something about bullying in middle school; I could not find the words. I have tried to write about disciplining my child; I could not find the words. 

 

I have not been able to find many words lately. 

I am on my third different kind of medication for trying to treat my bipolar disorder. When I started this new journey at the beginning of the year, I felt brave and strong; I felt like for once I was doing something about my ever increasing depression and mood swings and that I would find the answers I was looking for by finally turning to a psychiatrist. Instead, I have been met with sleeplessness, allergic reactions, and a dulling wit.

 

Oh, and depression.

 

 

Still. 

I feel like I am nearing the end of my patience for this journey. At what point do I admit that I was actually better off before even putting these medications in my body? 

Making a step like I did in admitting that I needed this kind of help in the first place is a big step. No one ever talks about what happens if you have to take that step back.

No one ever talks about what happens if you, in fact, fail at your epiphany. 

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2 Comments so far
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There are lots of people you can talk to regarding medication woes. Im still working on my write up of wtf happened this year (so far) with my changes. It’s been a complete cluster. I hadn’t shared all the details yet because I needed to not be in a dark place. It’s been a trial of patience for sure.

Thinking of you.

Comment by Jenna Hatfield

so I think about writing a response like every week, but I thought this week i’d sack up and do it. hope it does suck, or make you rage.

Your brain isn’t broken, it is in fact, through it’s many developments, the most interesting and amazing thing about you. This is as true in these blog posts as it was when playing mermaids and otters in your pool or making cardboard foldable computers (I’m pretty sure apple or Samsung still owe us royalties- we patented that shit right?). It is what allows you to be a fantastic teacher, mother, wife, woman, and human.

So it’s not broken, you haven’t failed, you just haven’t found what works for you best, and my guess is, it’s a combination of things you have/haven’t tried yet, and things you didn’t think would be the cure to your mental health.

Comment by Sue D.




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