growinghumans


The Beatles are lying to you.
February 14, 2015, 3:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

rings

So.

I have been with the same man for 11 years, and while I am in no position to preach about relationships, there are a few things that I know to be true.

Love is not all you need.

But, Carrie! If your heart is pure then the two of you can endure anything! Draw your strength from one another! Love is all you need!

Nope.

Here is what I have needed thus far in this marriage to stay alive, and more importantly for him to stay alive.

So much patience that I can’t even measure it.

Patience for when he’s late coming home from work; for when money is low; for when there is so much laundry piled up in our bedroom that we can’t find the bed; for when I go all bipolar on him and say things I do not mean; for when our daughter will NOT. STOP. SCREAMING.

Maintaining The Date Night.

Some people may think that once you have a child, or a bunch, you should stop being selfish with taking time for the two of you. This is bullshit. My husband and I need at least one night a month where we can sit opposite one another in a crowded restaurant, on our phones, and drink.

Inside jokes.

My husband and I are both giant nerds. We watch movies over and over again. We play video games together. We enjoy table top games and the same TV shows. We say “It’s a trap!” at least 4 times a week and always laugh at ourselves. We make sure the other person knows that they no longer have to pretend to be cool; we are allowed to be our true selves that most people keep hidden away behind walls of social pressure. OUR FAMILY SAYS NAY TO THIS PRESSURE.

Girls Night and Man Night.

This is pretty self explanatory. DO STUFF AWAY FROM HIM. Give your brain time to miss your spouse. Give him a chance to go out in the world and realize how great he has it with you. I mean, I PLAY VIDEO GAMES WITH HIM. It doesn’t get much more trophy wife than that.

Some people may think that all of this crap is wrapped up in the word “love” but it’s not that easy. All of this stuff takes more work than “all you need is love”.

All you need is medication, video games, and some beer. At least that’s all we need.

Love is not the something that you need; love is the sum of all that you need.

Humans are far too complex to just need any one thing–We need particles of everything. We need atoms and molecules and long, silent bubble baths to make up our own version of the love that we need.

Sorry, Beatles.

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