growinghumans


I Have Questions
November 6, 2015, 10:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Does everyone’s kid sweat this much?

Does everyone’s kid pretend they can understand animals?

Does everyone’s kid insist on riding in the big bench cart at Target?

Does everyone’s kid betray their trust when they say they’ll be good in Target if they get to ride in this stupid cart?

Does everyone’s kid watch these videos of people opening toys on Youtube?

Does everyone’s kid watch Youtube?

Does everyone’s kid insist on sitting 7 inches away from your face when you’re going to the bathroom?

Does everyone’s kid freak out about tags touching their back skin?

Does everyone’s kid eat chicken nuggets like they belong to their own food group?

Does everyone’s kid show this much empathy for others?

Does everyone’s kid love The Hulk?

Does everyone’s kid love Chewbacca?

Does everyone’s kid call him Baby Fett just to drive their fathers insane?

Does everyone’s kid understand sarcasm?

Does everyone’s kid get music?

Does everyone’s kid ask you to turn the radio louder when “White Blank Page” or “Little Talks” is playing?

Does everyone’s kid act like they’ve been here before?

Does everyone’s kid insist that sparkly automatically means better?

Does everyone’s kid hug the things they like in the store and taunt you by saying “What does a hug mean?”

Does everyone’s kid ask you if you miss your mom and dad when you’re sad?

Does everyone’s kid blame their shoes when they slip in a mud puddle at school? THESE DARN SPARKLY, SLIPPERY SHOES, MOM.

Does everyone’s kid act like you’re peeling off their skin with razor blades when it’s time to rinse the shampoo out of their hair?

Does everyone’s kid act like English is their second language when you ask them what they learned in school?

Does everyone’s kid have the short term memory retention of a gold fish? (What does this letter sound like? “Buhhh” What about this one? “Eeeee!” What do they sound like together? “Unicorn!”)

Does everyone’s kid need moral support when they’re pooping?

Does everyone’s kid absolutely lose their mind over Shopkins? What even are these things? Things to lose, that’s what.

Does everyone’s kid love you like that’s what they were born to do?

Just mine? Alright.

Carry on.

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