Love Vigilantes
November 29, 2015, 12:50 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I want to report a crime, dear readers.

I was a victim today.

Today started off pretty terrible–

My mother was admitted to the hospital Thanksgiving night with bronchitis. For about two hours today they thought she had a blood clot in her lungs. Life started off hard today.

So. I had a good cry. I put a third day’s worth of dry shampoo on my hair. I got dressed and went to the damn mall. I bought myself $30 worth of luxury bath products. I visited my mother on the way home. I sat next to her hospital bed, listening to her oxygen machine moan and her bed hiss. We watched NCIS and I nibbled on her uneaten lunch. She apologized for ruining the holiday and I cried some more because she didn’t but the holiday was ruined just the same.

I left my mother there, with my father, and drove myself home. Mostly crying off and on because things were happening that I had no control over and that is not how I maintain my life AT ALL SO THE UNIVERSE BETTER GET WITH IT.


I decided that when I got home I was going to put up my outdoor Christmas decorations. I have complete control over this show. I usually almost die about 4 times between balancing on chairs and handling a staple gun, but it always looks wonderful and tacky in the end–we are all going for tacky, right? That’s the point of outdoor decorations, right? Okay, good. Mine wins.


So I get home with my mission on my mind. My walls were back up and I stopped crying like baby. I walked into the house, got my dog out of the crate and let her out to do her business. I let the dog back in and went to plug in the Christmas tree.

Just then, the dog started barking at the door. Her intruder bark.

I ran to the front door just in time to see a blue mini van speed away from my cul-de-sac. On the windshield of my SUV was an extra large Mickey Mouse balloon, a gift bag with crayons, coloring pages, and glow sticks and a large sign that says “We can do hard things. Love, Life.”

These people are out there. These love vigilantes will stop at nothing until the weeping has stopped and the hysterical laughter begins. They will resort to ridiculous stalking measures if need be.

Let this be a warning to you all; if you are sad, in a dark place, drowning and going through the motions of life, people like this will find you. Be on your guards, not that it matters. They will strike when you least expect it.

When you think you least deserve it.

When you didn’t even realize kindness to this magnitude existed.

But, don’t worry. Revenge will be mine.

Oh yes.

Rue the day that one of my friends finds themselves in a hard spot. They will get a taste of their own sweet medicine.

This crime wave will continue until the land is purged of empty feelings and all that is left is pure joy.


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